Tirolese Family
Please help support our site by using the above link to go to
Amazon.ca
The Adventures of
Rubber-Man
Rubber-Man
and the
Christmas Caper
(Fall 2001 - Winter 2002)
Chapter 1: in which Rubber-Man gets everyone up to speed and offers grovelling apologies....
|
Salutations most Gentle Readers! I have been intending to write this since sometime before Christmas, but alas Rubber-Man and Zehr's-Woman have been a tad busy of late. I offer my most abject and sincerest apologies for leaving you all on tender-hooks as to our assorted fates. You can thank Jeffrey of Minneapolis, Minnesota and my sister-in-law for giving me the kick in the conscience needed to put fingers to keyboard. |
Chapter 2: in which Rubber-Man answers your pressing questions....
|
Most of you are probably wondering what's up and I think it's safe to say that your assorted prayers, burnt incense and supplications on our behalf have been answered. The physio has helped a lot with the nagging back pain (my head is still screwed on crooked, but at least I'm holding it upright...) and I am still employed. I was off for the one week at the end of September and a second week at the beginning of November, so I managed to complete my 2 week waiting period for U.I. benefits in tasty fun-sized nuggets. I had enough seniority to keep working after Christmas when many were laid-off, but the slow-down in production meant I got "bumped-out" of the packing line and had to move into another job. "A change is as good as a rest" as Sam Gamgee's dad would say. About 2 dozen people were called-back this week, so I'm back in packing for now, but it won't last long. Our major customers are planning shut downs later this month so I'm expecting to be off for part of it. I've been keeping my U.I. account active just in case. I went to an information session at the local Teacher's College last October only to find out that even with an M.A. in English Lit. I'm not qualified to go to Teacher's College! Spent the whole drive home cursing my stupidity for taking Philosophy and German as options when another history course would've given me my "secondary teachable" (need 3, I only have 2). They're screaming for teachers around here and they sure aren't making it easy to become one! Perhaps in a few years they'll be more desperate. In the meantime I'm going to investigate taking Canadian History via correspondence. The Boss is treating No News as Good News and thinks our plant will stay open for now. We've even got a few new small contracts, but they're low volume contracts that will only keep a dozen or so people employed. So my Autumn of Discontent has become a Winter of Cautious Optimism. |
Chapter 3: in which Rubber-Man avoids swimming with the fishes and disposes of a body...
|
When I left you last Rubber-Man and his littlest wiener-head were setting off on a fishing expedition with the Girl Guides. Well, much fun was had and Rubber-Man gained the gratitude of the Guide Leaders by hooking many worms and unhooking many fish. This was all new to me, having never been fishing before in my life. It's amazing how something as flaccid as an earthworm can suddenly display incredible strength, agility and speed when you're trying to skewer it on a fishing hook. I guess I would too, now that I think of it. It was a beautiful day for it and the event was held in the one Guide Leader's back-yard which contains an old gravel pit that has become a lake. The husband of said Leader was the resident fishing expert and he helped us out. We weren't getting a single nibble until he adjusted our bait and float, then we caught two fish (lake perch BTW). The group was releasing any small or very large specimens and only keeping the mid-sized, but unfortunately our fish swallowed their hooks and ended up as lunch. Rachael of course had them named as soon as they were out of the water. In spite of "Franklin the fish" ending up battered and fried, she requests perch whenever we pass the fish counter at Zehr's. Unfortunately, Rachael continues to have encounters with dead animals. Our family has finally gone through the "dead pet rodent" phase. "Alas, poor Sloppy! I knew him well....." One of Rachael's pet degus (sort of a fat gerbil) was found one morning paws-up in the cedar chips. Zehr's-Woman and I both had to go to work and the wiener-heads were getting themselves off to school that day. "Egads," says Rubber-Man. "What if the littlest wiener-head comes down to visit her buddies before school?" So a note was left on the cage saying we knew there was only one rodent in the cage, don't panic and all would be explained after school. It being a cool day, Sloppy's mortal remains were turfed out to the garage until later. So here's mom and dad agonising all day about how would we explain things and how would Rachael take the news? Rachael fortunately didn't choose that morning to visit her buddies before school and was quite calm about the whole thing. I thought "Can I have a hamster?" before Sloppy was even decently buried was a trifle callous however. Fortunately, for me the little fur ball had the decency to shuffle off his mortal coil before the ground froze, so he's now interred behind a rose bush. We think Sloppy was the dominant degu in their colony of two and it seems odd that he would pop his clogs. Perhaps it was the stress of running the cage? Maybe overeating? Or could it have been something more sinister perhaps? Maybe Sloppy fell victim to a coup de cage? Moppy, the junior partner, has certainly been getting fatter now that he doesn't have any competition for the food dish. But the strain of having to do everything himself (keep lookout, run on the wheel, sit in the food, mark all the corners) must be taking its toll. He's staying perky though; I came home from Bingo (it's a major fundraiser for my Knights of Columbus Chapter) the other night to have to help round up a loose degu! Good thing we had a good turn out and I could leave early.... |
Chapter 4: in which we take in some movies...
|
One of the good things about Zehr's-Woman being, well... Zehr's-Woman, is there is actually money left over at the end of the month for things like movies. So we were able to see both Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings at the theatre when they came out. Even with a matinee ticket, once you get popcorn and drinks etc. it's the better part of $100 for a family of 4 to see a movie these days (make it more like $200 once we get sucked into the nearby Chapters outlet). But we enjoyed them both, although with Harry Potter we got stuck in traffic for about 45 minutes and ended up sitting in the front row. My neck was a bit stiff by the end. I thoroughly enjoyed The Lord of the Rings even though I'm a major Tolkien fan (yes, I've even got a Tolkien tee-shirt). I can't stand most other fantasy writing except Tolkien. Maybe I'm growing up? But I loved the movie and thought they did a great job with a rather complex tale. I loved the hobbits and I want to live in a hobbit-hole. Hell, I want to be a hobbit (I'm already short and furry, I just need to be fatter and have bigger feet!). Any people who have 6 meals a day sound like my kind of folks! I had thought they got a few things 'wrong' (or rather took some liberties to simplify things), but on re-reading the books found that they got it right and it was my recollection that was wrong. What I'd like to know is why he didn't film The Hobbit while he was at it? For this movie I think I may have to shell-out for a DVD player in a few years once they're all released on disc. Did I say how much I liked it? |
Chapter 5: in which Rubber-Man and Zehr's-Woman have a Wonderful if rather Hectic Life....
|
Christmas really rushed up on us this year. Zehr's-Woman was working a lot and the wiener-heads had lots of special Christmas activities to attend. So our parcels and cards didn't get mailed out until the week before and Advent was far from being the time of quiet preparation and peaceful contemplation the Bishop would like it to be. We didn't get our Advent candles out or lit once this season. Thanks to a friend with a station wagon we were able to get our tree mid-December at a cut your own tree farm near town. We gave up waiting for a day when mom wasn't working and got it without her. Fortunately, Colleen picked out a pretty nice tree. Rubber-Man got off work early on the Friday before Christmas and went home to eat some leftovers for lunch (using his garburator power). But the sinister Lex Luthor slipped some kryptonite karrots into the fridge and R-Man spent that night being violently ill! My stomach was still sore on Christmas Day which curtailed my enjoyment of our Roast-Beast and Who-Pudding. I did my best however, in true hobbit-fashion. Christmas Eve Zehr's-Woman worked until 5 wrestling the wild Robo-cashiers and herding errant stock-boys. Then it was a quiet evening of tortiere (for you Americans it's a traditional French Canadian ground pork and mashed potato meat pie) and watching It's a Wonderful Life on TV. Christmas Day was just the 4 of us and the turkey. Colleen's choir sang at the 9 AM Mass so I volunteered to read at that one too (usually I read at the 11 AM service), then we went home to open presents (and not a scrap of Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings merchandise in the lot, despite my hinting ) and make dinner. Colleen got a Scrabble game so we played several games of that and I only beat her once when we were scoring wrong. Colleen is a Scrabble fiend who I hope will rival her mother someday. Yup, two degrees in English and I get beaten by a 12 year old! sigh.... Boxing Day was a visit from Zehr's-Woman's parents and then she had to go back to work the rest of the week. New Year's Eve was quiet. I rented some movies. We found the one for the girls amusing (Cats & Dogs) and I immediately apologised for selecting the second (Swordfish) which turned out to be a silly disappointing montage of mayhem with a very unsatisfying ending. R-Man and Z-Woman were asleep by 11:59 being the Party Animals that they are. New Year's Day saw a pleasant visit from some old and good friends (him with the station wagon and his wife) who have recently moved from Toronto to the next town over so he can be closer to an aging parent. It was a good afternoon that saw the demise of some smoked salmon, a wheel of Brie and a bottle of wine. The wiener-heads are getting expensive tastes and had been asking for smoked salmon since last New Year's! Then the next day some other friends from Ottawa dropped by bearing chocolates and we had a good visit except that Z-Woman had to be at work. We saved her some chocolates though....Rubber-Man had a restful week and a half off, but Zehr's-Woman didn't. |
Chapter 6: Rubber-Man and Zehr's-Woman acquire a teenager....
|
Our biggest wiener-head had her birthday in January and we now officially have a teenager living in the Townhouse of Solitude. Most of the time she's a pretty good kid, but occasionally she gets these moods. There are days when her mother and I understand why some animals eat their young.... for her birthday I drove all over town trying to find a carton of Ben & Jerry's "Chunky Monkey" ice cream but without success. Now that she's blossomed into a terrifyingly attractive young woman she has acquired a male admirer which is doing her ego some good. Fortunately the little beast isn't making a pest of himself (yet)... Colleen's daddy has some rather large friends and we know where to hide the body.... Colleen is taking Confirmation classes this winter. Her Youth Group has transmogrified into a Confirmation class and she's finding it a bit boring. She says she even misses floor hockey! She is still enjoying Pathfinders and Choir though. The group of girls at Pathfinders are a pretty rowdy bunch of goofs, so she fits right in. |
Chapter 7: in which Rubber-Man arranges a play-date....
|
Currently I'm busy trying to organise "Hotlead: Canada's Finest Miniature Wargaming Convention" which will run the weekend before Easter this year. Zehr's-Woman says it's like a play-date with 120 of my friends. Every year there are problems getting the flyer out and with the hotel and with the dealers and I think "Grr, that's it! I've had enough!" Then it goes well and everyone has a great time and says how much they like it and I start planning next year's event. The attached .jpg is a picture of one of the games that will be attending. It will be huge and take all weekend to play.
|
Chapter 8: in which Rubber-Man decides he's blathered on long enough...
|
Well Gentle Reader I started this epistle last weekend and I'd really better get this sent before it takes a few MBs of RAM to download! Another week has come to an end. Another week closer to retirement. My back feels OK. The funky jolts of pain in my right hand have gone away and I'm on the schedule for next week. All Good Things. Midnight shift though, so that's a Bad Thing, but... Another Good Thing was the movie White River starring Bob Hoskins and Antonio Banderias as a pair of con-men selling socks for God.... And the blues CD (Georgette Fry Live) I got Z-Woman for Christmas which hasn't left the stereo yet.... And J.R.R. Tolkien; I'm on to book 3 now and still find it stirring stuff after I'm not sure how many times through (if I win the lottery I'm going back to do a Ph.D. thesis on Tolkien).... And January Thaws that melt the snow BEFORE I shovel the driveway..... And well-behaved friendly dogs and a good cup of tea after a long day.... all Good Things. Now I really must get my butt into bed, and I wish you all Good Things. Peace (and good night), |
James
--
See our website at
http://www.quadro.net/~hotlead
Page last updated:
10/30/2005
