Tirolese Family
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The Adventures of
Rubber-Man
The Adventures of Rubber-Man and Zehr’s-Woman
(Spring-Summer 2001)
Chapter 1: An Introduction...
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Greetings gentle readers! Your humble scribbler has realized that he has been most neglectful of his friends of late. I used to be such a good correspondent, but alas no more! But think of this as a Midsummer Manto Family Christmas Letter; or more exciting yet… the adventures of that whimsical pair of superheroes RUBBER-MAN and ZEHR’S-WOMAN!!! We’ll begin our story by going back a few months. The scene is their secret headquarters and love-nest, the Townhouse of Solitude…. |
Chapter 2 in which Rubber-Man fends off the devious designs of a strange man with a heavy accent and the arrival of Zehr’s-Woman…
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Winter is finally over and the last of the 2 meter snow drift that was in the back yard packed up and moved out sometime in early April. After Christmas we didn’t have anymore really heavy snow falls, and we had a few nice thaws, so I rarely had to shovel out the drive. Now we can get on with the other Canadian season- Road Construction. I currently have an 8 block detour winding through suburbs on my way to work, and as usual early in the morning I’m running on autopilot, miss the turn off and end up adding a few more blocks to my trip. ***sigh*** SPRING! certainly lived up to it’s name and sprang right by us. April was warm and dry (very pleasant actually) but May was cool and wet. The weekend we had planned on gardening got rained out and it’s now a hot sticky humid SW Ontario June and our veggie garden still isn’t planted! My family has been giving our Guardian Angels a work out these past months. I had a strange man jump into my car back in February and try to get me to drive him to Toronto. When I made it clear that driving to Toronto was not in my plans for that day he then asked for money to get home with (having just paid the rent, I had enough to buy some groceries and that was it). When I offered to help him get in touch with the Salvation Army or St. Vincent de Paul Society and they could get him a bus ticket, he got out of the car and left (with a few curses). I’m still not sure if I avoided a con-artist, would be car-jacker or turned away a man in need. It didn’t help that he had a very thick accent and I could barely understand him. He said he was from Lebanon; perhaps he was Muslim and didn’t want the help of two Christian organizations? When I got home I decided I’d better alert Stratford’s Finest, lest he pull the same stunt on a little old lady and give her a heart attack. But they never found the fellow. I however, spent the rest of the day trying to calm-down (“We need 250 c.c.’s of strong black tea - stat!”). Elizabeth has started a job at our favourite grocery store. They are expanding into a bigger location and have hired more staff. Elizabeth worked in a grocery store before we had Colleen and she liked it, so she thought this was a good opportunity to get back into the work-force part-time. The extra-money would be good and now she’ll be able to collect a pittance from the Canada Pension Plan when I finally pop my clogs. (Stay at home Mom’s are very important and we’re all in favour of Family Values etc. but we don’t actually want to give them any old age pension now do we? (WARNING SARCASM ALERT!) So the mild mannered house-mom by day dons her green Smock of Power and TA-DAH! It’s Zehr’s-Woman! Faster than a bar-code scanner! Able to leap the longest line of customers at a single bound! Zehr’s-Woman has joined Rubber-Man in the fight for Truth, Justice and Financial Security. But one day she was going to be at work and the girls were going to be out of school early before I got home from work. So they had to let themselves in. Colleen decided to try and make some fudge for the school bake sale (to raise money for an African mission). She has baked before, and her chocolate chip-banana muffins are really very good. She has helped her mother make the fudge recipe before too (it’s very easy- even I can make it). But she melted the chocolate in the microwave in a metal bowl! Fortunately she only burned the chocolate and her mother had to make up another batch for the bake sale (we ate the first batch- it was odd but not awful). When I realized what she had done and what could have happened, I almost fainted! Coming home to a kitchen fire or an exploded microwave and bleeding children would not have been a good way to start the week. Colleen has been fully instructed in the proper use of a microwave now, and told not to use it without one of us being home. |
Chapter 3 in which Zehr’s-Woman discovers more of her secret powers….
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Zehr’s-Woman’s (known to you by her secret identity as Elizabeth) duties have kept her out of the garden unfortunately, but she is continuing to enjoy her work (which beats the heck out of her job many years ago when she came home and cried once a week). She has gotten her own President’s Choice bank account and we now use the bright purple plastic bins for our shopping instead of the plastic grocery bags. The bins are actually easier to use and handle in and out of the trunk and make unpacking a breeze. The fact that they’re better for the environment is a side benefit. Her enthusiasm for Zehr’s and their President’s Choice products is boundless. I felt it necessary to warn her that I’d object to seeing the Zehr’s logo tattooed on her backside, however. The new store is immense. ‘Supermarket’ really doesn’t do it justice; ‘superdooper market’ or ‘supercalifrajilisticexpialidotious-market’ are perhaps more descriptive. I’m just waiting for the President’s Choice G.P.S. Transmitter to help you get around the store. Those of you living in large cities are used to these stores by now, but here in Stratford (pop. 27,000) it’s pretty heady stuff. So much food. (And the other week at my Mission Committee meeting we had a parishioner asking the committee to adopt a Mission in Kenya where $1.00 Cdn can buy two chickens.) But we can now munch biscotti and slurp “double mocha frappachino” coffee from the Bean Roastery while making our choices from the Sushi Bar or Fresh Fish counter like all you Big City folks. Because she is strong in the Way of Zehr’s she has been quickly promoted to FRONT END SUPERVISOR/ OFFICE CLERK (sort of a head cashier/Lead-Hand). She supervises the cashiers, box-boys, balances the tills and adjusts the schedule. She also now knows the over-ride codes for the cash-registers. I’ve admonished her to only use her Powers for Good. All this for a .65 cent an hour raise. But for a basic part-time retail job she actually has benefits! Not bad really. |
Chapter 4 in which Rubber-Man discovers some of HIS secret powers….
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Naturally Elizabeth is working a lot of evenings (like tonight), and weekends. For such a conservative area there sure is a lot of shopping on Sundays around here! So the girls and I have been surviving my forays into dinner preparation and grocery shopping. After a few displays of my superpower “Dadrage” (or a ‘freak-out’ as the kids would say) we’ve come to terms with the changes in our domestic routine and the girls help with the dishes and ‘Bossy Day’ (a.k.a. house cleaning day), and they actually like grocery shopping with me (I think because I’m more easily talked into getting all the ‘good’ stuff that Mom normally passes over). Last weekend I produced a rather elegant meal of veal cordon bleu, sautéed mushrooms, zucchinis and peppers with herb roasted potatoes and a pleasant Ontario-produced rose (a glass of which is beside me now). Thank God for the Butcher’s Counter and wine outlet at the Zehr’s! Granted barbecued hamburgers and frozen fish triangles are the more usual fare during the week. Our old blue Chevy has finally decided to pack it in. We renewed its license and within a month its starter gave up. So we’re thinking it’s time to get rid of it and find a car Elizabeth can drive. She doesn’t like the Standard transmission on the Toyota. We’re toying with splashing out and buying a new car (something inexpensive like a KIA), but we’ll see. It would be nice if she could use the car to get to work in the evenings instead of taking a cab home at 11:30 at night! At work I’ve been trying to develop my “Patience” and “Stoicism” superpowers. I sometimes wonder if Our Lord had the Modern Industrial Workplace in mind when he commanded us to love our neighbours. It’s getting really hot and sticky in the factory and summer vacation can’t come fast enough. At least the slaves in the Roman fabricaria got to work in loin cloths, but for the good of my soul I probably shouldn’t contemplate Marianne and Michelle from work in loin cloths….. sigh. I try to adopt the Zen of Cooper-Standard and ‘Be the Rubber;’ strong, yet flexible and able to shield those within from the weather. But usually ‘Being the Rubber’ means I’m dirty, limp and smell bad….. On the upside, we’ve just ratified a new contract with the company. .70 cents/hour over three years (25-25-20) and some improvements to our pension plan. The first part of the raise comes into effect immediately (rather than waiting until October when the current contract expires) and we get a $1000.00 signing bonus (oops! Sorry! That should be an “Inventory Reduction Bonus” not a bribe to take the deal. For those of you who are mercifully NOT in the auto industry, the theory is that we’re saving the company a pile of money by coming to terms quickly because otherwise they are contractually obligated by the automakers to stockpile parts in the event of a strike. So we get to share in the savings). |
Chapter 5 in which the Wiener-heads have various adventures...
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The girls (a.k.a. the Wiener-heads) are flourishing. Activities are winding up for the summer. They sang at their last Mass with the Children’s Choir last Sunday and had their end of year picnic. Tomorrow night they have their final Girl Guide event of the year, pizza and badge exchanging with some Girl Scouts from Michigan. Next year Colleen will be moving up to the Youth Choir and Pathfinders while Rachael stays with the Children’s Choir and Girl Guides. So life will get a bit more complicated, but I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it. Colleen’s class went on a 3-day trip to a camp where they did rock-climbing and canoeing and assorted other confidence-building, limit-testing activities. Rachael’s class went to “Medieval Times” which is a Medieval theme restaurant sort of like WWF meets Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It’s pretty cool watching the horses and jousting, but my main worry is that the kids will think that potatoes and corn on the cob are authentic medieval foods! At least they hit all the Food Groups…. Rachael has a pair of tadpoles growing in a pail in her room. We’ve made her promise to let them go once they develop into frogs. We know she’d rather keep them as pets though! But it’s good for her. She’d like to be a zoologist or veterinarian someday. I’m encouraging her to make notes and sketches about them and hopefully use it for a Guide Merit Badge next year. Rachael and I also got an ‘A’ on our castle project. She had to research a specific castle and then build a model of it. Did she pick a nice square Norman keep? Nooooo….. she went and picked a rather complicated and large Welsh castle; Caerphilly. So I drew upon all of my super dad powers and helped her make a very nice model of it. I even let her use some of the fuzzy green flocking I use on my lead soldiers for grass around their feet. Unfortunately the model is way too small for any of my soldiers to use, they’d have to be about 1/5th the size! I have seen assorted plastic toy animals in it though, so I think she’s been recreating some adventures from the ‘Redwall’ adventure books. Colleen was awarded with some prizes last weekend by the Royal Canadian Legion. She had entered their Remembrance Day Poetry Contest last November and her poem won a 1st place locally and then went on to win a 3rd place at the next level (the 1st place winners keep moving up through zone, region, province and national levels). She used some of her cash prizes ($45.00 total) to buy her sister and I ice-cream tonight. Our neighbours asked me today if Colleen would be interested in watching their 2 year old for a few hours a day during the summer. Once Colleen found out that the little sprout in question was potty-trained she got very enthused. |
Chapter 6 in which Rubber-Man reads some books….
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I’ve been reading a lot of religious books lately. Religions of the World by Huston Smith. It gave me a nice introduction to the major world religions, although it just glossed over Sikhism in an appendix to the chapter on Hinduism. So I don’t really know what Sikhs believe. I work with a very nice Sikh couple; Daljit packs parts with me and her husband Jasbir drives the forklift. The book said it was a fusion of Islam and Hinduism, which seems like trying to mix oil and water if you ask me. Another book Genesis; A Living Conversation by Bill Moyer is a round table discussion with assorted scholars, theologians, psychologists, artists, writers and ministers of various faiths as they work through the stories in Genesis in the Rabbinic Midrash tradition. The psychologists always keep trying to psychoanalyze God much to annoyance of the ministers (Catholic, Protestant, Muslim and Jewish). The Bible told Me So; Uses and Abuses of Holy Scripture was an amusing book I found by accident in the library. It takes aim at the assorted ills that Fundamentalists have used the Bible for. Unfortunately, in South Western Ontario being openly religious means you’re either a Mennonite or a Fundamentalist Born-Again type. I just get annoyed by the Fundamentalists trying to tell me I’m not a Christian because I don’t see things their way. Currently I’m going a bit lighter and am reading Ode to a Banker by Lindsey Davis. She writes very amusing murder mysteries set in ancient Rome. This one features a scriptorium owner/banker found dead in the library with a scroll rod shoved up his nose. Our irreverent hero, Falco, investigates. I also plan to work my way through J.R.R. Tolkien’s works this summer and fall in preparation for the release of the first movie this winter. I’ve already told the girls I want the three video boxed set for Christmas 2004! |
Chapter 7 in which Rubber-Man writes some books….
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I’ve also been trying to work on some projects lately. Don is going to publish a set of rules I’ve developed for playing games with Roman soldiers. We’re in the final stages of development and finding art-work before he lets his editorial assistant loose upon my verbiage. My game for Medieval soldiers has finally come out, although it was too late for Hotlead (which was a roaring success thanks to Elizabeth’s work with the mailing lists and data-base; check my website at http://www.quadro.net/~hotlead if you haven’t already) but it looks great and I’ll be flogging it at conventions in the Fall and next Spring. I just learned that I’ve got an article published in Slingshot which is a magazine specializing in ancient warfare and the wargaming thereof. It’s a pretty small, specialized publication with no payment, but some professional historians contribute articles to it too, so the quality of the editorial content is pretty good. The article should help promote my games. |
Chapter 8 in which Rubber-Man concludes this Epistle and bids the Gentle Reader a fond good-night….
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Life in the fast-paced and challenging world of automotive sealing systems is about as exciting as throwing pieces of rubber into crates can get. The industry stoppage in February meant I had to take a week off then, but that was fun because Don had me down to Wisconsin to help him with his new lead-soldier casting factory and we spent a day cruising some very cool gaming stores. So I only have 2 weeks vacation left which I’m taking in July during the summer shut-down. This means that sadly I will once again miss meeting up with all my American buds at Don and Margaret’s annual Pre-GENCON gathering. And of course now we’ve got TWO sets of vacation time to try and co-ordinate! Perhaps next year. I hope I’ve remembered everything. Some of you will already know some of this, but I wanted to get everyone up to speed. This way I’ll only have to remember June through December when filling out my Christmas cards! |
Peace be upon you,
James
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See our website at http://www.quadro.net/~hotlead
Page last updated:
10/30/2005
