Medical Humour

Sarah Finkel • Living until 80 • Famous Nurse

Sarah Finkel

A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse."

The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

"Sarah Finkel, room 302."

"I'll connect you with the nursing station."

"3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"

"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."

"Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine, to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."

The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's wonderful news!"

The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!"

"Neither! I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me anything."

Living until 80

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked, "well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh no", I replied. "I've never done either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy."

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf / sailing / ballooning / motorcycling / rock climbing?"

"No I don't", I said. He said,

"Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?"

"No", I said. "I have never done any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a hoot if you live to be 80?"

Famous Nurse

The famous female Olympic skier Picabo (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) Street is not just an athlete, she is also a nurse. She currently works at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the telephone; it simply caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say ...

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Picabo, ICU.

(A good clean joke is hard to find these days --- pass it on!)