Nine Things I Hate about Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time ....
   I know where my watch is pal, where is yours?
   Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room
   for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
   Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look".
   Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
   Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".
   No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" ....
   Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'.
   Which is it?
   If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.
   If it's an improvement then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short".
   What the ?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever had!!
   What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?"
   If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?